23 February 2008

medications: freeing or masochistic indulgence?

i react to meds, badly. always have had. one of the great stories of my first marriage involved muscle relaxers and a crowded movie theatre where he and i ended up in the second row, center for the original Batman. whatever you imagine probably isn't enough.

at the moment i'm reeling from the steroids and ridiculously heavy duty antibiotics given to me on Monday for my latest diagnosis (pneumonia) of this never ending winter. this is the follow up to a few days of some super antibiotic given in late january, which i was told would prevent the bronchitis from turning into pneumonia. (let us all observe a moment of wry silence).

aside from a weird feeling of relief at the diagnosis (i had been feeling beyond bad for ages, it was almost comforting to know there was a real reason for coming home and collapsing by 7:30) the cure is proving almost worse.

i am literally out of my head while on these medications. verbal filter (thought to speech) almost gone. heart racing. dizzy. and of course i'm working thru - took off one day, and then worked half days, and then a full day on Friday. i can do that, because i have these terribly effective medications. (and am a masochistic idiot).

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